One of the major changes in a girl’s life is marriage. Starting from changing your home to the people you live with, to changes in lifestyle, food habits and daily routine! At times it’s also a new language or new cultural & religious habits. Add to that moving to a new place (town, city or country – thank god it’s the same planet though it does feel different for a while) and stepping out of your comfort zone. The new place also brings with it money matters either in a new job or no job till you are finally able to land one or decide to take a break. In fact even something you’ve lived with all your life – your name too does not remain unaffected by this change!! (of course there are some lucky ones get away with only few of the aforementioned changes)
And as they say opposites attract – all that which felt very rosy while dating suddenly becomes the bone of contention. You like Hindi movies, he likes English. You love mushrooms – he can’t stand them! He loves spicy food while you tear up at the hint of chillies. Not to mention wet towels, dirty socks & spending habits (I can see all you girls reading this grinning & the boys going ouch!). These can take some getting used too (Unless of course you’ve lived together for a while & had a taste of each other’s nitty gritty habits firsthand!).
So what does it take to live harmoniously with these changes? Money issues will crop up, but how do we together move from oscillating in life like the pendulum – sometimes none, sometimes more? Here goes a few tips from the humble experience of ‘the new girl in the city’ – still grappling with CHANGE!
Find meaningful stuff to do together & the satisfaction from this experience will be amazing! It does not always have to involve spending – a walk to the lake can be a great way to spend quality time rather than the movie + dinner combo.
Discover each of your skills in managing home & divide tasks accordingly. Split the learning for those skills/tasks you still need. Being flexible to change & non judgemental about each other’s limitations while constantly being open to learn new things helps.
Together honestly identify, clarify, visualise & jot down aspirations & goals which are important to you both & you’d like to experience in life together. These can be either monetary or otherwise, like, family, studies, work, hobbies, charity, vacations anything! As Carol Anderson the founder of Money quotient says these aspirations then become like an ‘internal compass’, guiding both financial and non-financial decisions you make together along life’s journey.
Work out a plan to achieve your monetary goals one at a time. Start investing now – it’s never too late or too little to save. Retirement seems far away but we need to put away money for it today. Most importantly the discipline & understanding between to two of you grows.
Divide tasks between the two of you while giving it your 100% commitment – 50/50 won’t do here. Only if both of you are committed 100% to what’s meaningful to you together will the degree of satisfaction and fulfillment you experience on this journey grow and multiply. Believe me, It’s Fun & you feel quite responsible too.
Lastly at times whatever you plan may not always work out like you planned it – life has a way of throwing surprises – it’s ok. Plan the best you can – only with a purpose can you progress & then as they say – do your best leave the rest!
The journey is the reward not the destination.